Love itself does not hurt. It is growth that hurts, the ego that stings. Each transformation is painful because the old situation is being left behind for the new. For example, when a relationship ends we feel hurt, our hopes and dreams have crashed and we feel lost and lonely, wondering what comes next
Through all the highs, lows and lessons love has brought me, there are a few things I have finally figured out that help me to continue courageously journeying down love’s path:
1. You will enter your next relationship as healthy as you left your last
- One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself and your partner is to stop blaming someone else for the issues at hand and own those “stuck” areas within yourself that need attention. Even if the relationship ends, it’s worth the effort to work on it to ensure the next one has a better chance for success.
2. Real love allows you to be who you really are.
- Love will require you to change. And while it’s normal to work on some of the oddities that annoy your true love; real love allows you to be authentically yourself.
- Real love allows you the freedom to express yourself and grow as a human being. If you feel as if you never quite muster up to your special love’s expectations, it might be time to stop the ride and jump off.
3.The heart is every bit as strong as the mind … and often stronger.
- “Do not give in to the lust you are feeling, it goes against all you stand for.” I’m sure, after they’re on national TV, they remember their mind most likely tried to bring sense to the situation. But, in those crazy frenetic moments of passion and attraction, their heart won out. Always respect the power of your heart and know it can change the course of your life.
4. When love bites, you can move on.
- Your (former) precious love’s arrow piercing your heart in a hurtful way, you might think you’ll die and never love again. As a stalwart survivor of previous heartbreak, I can tell you that it’s in these moments you can trust that, while you may never be the same, you will eventually be able to love again. I believe that stepping up to the plate, owning your own stuff, finding your role in endings and not closing the door to more love is the key to moving on. Allow yourself to feel the pain and, at the same time, trust that someday an attractive someone will pull up a chair next to you and say, and your heart will flutter in response. Never give on love.
5. You can only love others as much as you love yourself.
- It is an arduous journey, as we attempt to undo all the conditioning and negative thoughts that began the very first time . It’s during uncomfortable moments with others we are able to bring forward aspects of ourselves that have remained hidden or avoided. If you feel love for others, trust me, you will find things within yourself that need work.