October declared Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Shine the Light! Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
What is Domestic Violence Awareness Month?
Every October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) is observed to bring to light an issue that effects our community in a staggereing way. DVAM is an opportunity for domestic violence organizations to connect with the community through meaningful outreach and awareness raising events.

 

Quote on abuse - Don’t let others define you or they might pick the worst word in the dictionary.

What is the color of domestic violence awareness?
The Domestic Violence Awareness color is purple and National Domestic Violence Month is recognized in October. When you wear our Domestic Violence lapel pin, you help raise awareness and support.

Quote on abuse - Survivors of any and all abuse become very good at anticipating mood of others, looks, actions, all of it in an effort to survive. Believing that if we can be agreeable, be compliant and loving, do things how they want, that we will be safe. This becomes our way of life.”

Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.Nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have suffered from domestic violence by an intimate partner. All people deserve to feel safe with loved ones, and my Administration is committed to eliminating this scourge and supporting survivors’ healing — and we must ensure that survivors and their families have access to the resources, care, and support they need to do so.

 

 

Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, hair pulling, etc are types of physical abuse.

Sexual Abuse: Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without consent. Sexual abuse includes, but is certainly not limited to, marital rape, attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred, or treating one in a sexually demeaning manner.

Emotional Abuse: Undermining an individual’s sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem is abusive. This may include, but is not limited to constant criticism, diminishing one’s abilities, name-calling, or damaging one’s relationship with his or her children.

Economic Abuse: Is defined as making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding one’s access to money, or forbidding one’s attendance at school or employment.

Psychological Abuse: Elements of psychological abuse include  – but are not limited to – causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner’s family or friends; destruction of pets and property; and forcing isolation from family, friends, or school and/or work.Quote on abuse - When someone isn't treating you right, no matter how much you love them, you've got to love yourself more and walk away.

Wear Purple

Host a Domestic Violence Awareness Day, and encourage staff to wear purple clothing. Wear purple often during October, but especially on Thursday, 10/20/16 the date we are suggesting that all New Yorkers wear purple.

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Quotes About Domestic ViolenceAbuse quote - You survived the abuse. You're going to survive the recovery.<3

Abuse quote - Being single is better than being lied to, cheated on and disrespected.Yes.

 

“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Now let’s move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn’t slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he’s got any self respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen – the queen of the home she makes for their children.”
― S.M. Stirling, Dies the Fire

“The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.”
― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

I recognized the words “domestic violence” because the Japanese use the same words, only with blockier pronunciation. ” Domesuchikku baiorensu”. I think it’s weird they use the same word; I’m pretty sure they invented domestic violence independently of us English-speakers, at the same time we were inventing it independently of them.”
― Tim Rogers, an incident involving a human body

“In a healthy relationship, vulnerability is wonderful. It leads to increased intimacy and closer bonds. When a healthy person realizes that he or she hurt you, they feel remorse and they make amends. It’s safe to be honest. In an abusive system, vulnerability is dangerous. It’s considered a weakness, which acts as an invitation for more mistreatment. Abusive people feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power. Crying or complaining confirms that they’ve poked you in the right spot.”
― Christina Enevoldsen, The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal

“Perhaps you expected to feel great as soon as you escaped your abuser, and maybe you did feel a great sense of relief for a while. However, as time has passed, you may be dismayed by the extent of your emotional pain.”
― Caroline Abbott, A Journey to Healing After Emotional Abuse

Prepare a gentle but firm response to use the next time someone feels they have a right to comment on your life decisions. You might say something like, “I’m sure you have my best interest at heart, and I thank you for your concern. However, you didn’t experience what I did, so you can’t understand what I went through. I made the best decisions I could based on what happened in my life. I know you will honor my right to decide what is best for me, just as I allow you to decide what is best for you.”
― Caroline Abbott, A Journey to Healing After Emotional Abuse

“Please don´t drown into his fears, his concrete fists don´t let him again, break the bridge of your nose with his cruel born hits. Then disappear into that mask of misery.”
― Anthony Liccione

“Something snapped,” said Madeline. She saw Perry’s hand shining back in its graceful, practiced arc. She heard Bonnie’s guttural voice. It occurred to her that there were so many levels of evil in the world. Small evils like her own malicious words. Like not inviting a child to a party. Bigger evils like walking out on your wife and newborn baby or sleeping with your child’s nanny. And then there was the sort of evil which Madeline had no experience: cruelty in hotel rooms and violence in suburban homes and little girls sold like merchandise, shattering innocent hearts.”
― Liane Moriarty, Big Little Lies

“Sexual immorality is sin.
Domestic violence is wrong.
It has been said that it is only emotionally insecure men who beat up their wives.
Women should never be treated like punch bags.
Women are not sexual objects.
Women are not baby factories.
Women are not some sexual toy for emotionally insecure men to beat up and tramp on and discard like some used condom.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;”
Ephesians 5:25
The Scripture does not say “..husbands beat your wives so that they can fear you..”.
Men who beat up their wives, need to stop being a bully and start being a man.
Any man who beats up any woman and any husband who beats up his wife , is an incomplete man with mental problems and emotional problems and sexual problems.
Marriage is between a man and a woman.
GOD Ordained marriage in The Garden of Eden.
Marriage is The Blessed Covenant Union between a man and a woman.
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” ( Mark 10:9).
I Love my wife and I will never beat my wife. Any man who beats his wife does not love his wife. When a man habitually beats his wife, he is making a public statement that he is insecure and incapable of being a husband who can really and truly love his wife.
Domestic violence is wrong. No one can justify domestic violence. No one can provide any permission to anyone to beat his wife for any reason.
It is an open secret that in the majority of cases, men who beat up their wives are emotionally secure and in some extreme cases impotent…
Impotent men need to seek counsel so that they can resolve their social hangups and emotional problems and any other problem that hinders him to behave and perform as a normal man that can satisfy a normal woman.”
― Errol Anthony Smythe

“Sure relationships include arguments, but pain is not a side-effect of love.”
― Tyler Oakley, Binge

“THE MYTHS ABOUT ABUSERS
1. He was abused as a child.
2. His previous partner hurt him.
3. He abuses those he loves the most.
4. He holds in his feelings too much.
5. He has an aggressive personality.
6. He loses control.
7. He is too angry.
8. He is mentally ill.
9. He hates women.
10. He is afraid of intimacy and abandonment.
11. He has low self-esteem.
12. His boss mistreats him.
13. He has poor skills in communication and conflict resolution.
14. There are as many abusive women as abusive men.
15. His abusiveness is as bad for him as for his partner.
16. He is a victim of racism.
17. He abuses alcohol or drugs.”
― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“Children have rights outside their mother’s womb without having to be victim’s of Domestic Violence inside their mother’s womb.”
― Sheree’ Griffin, A Trap Of Malicious Blind Love A Memoir Of Sex, Seduction, Manipulation & Betrayal

“For the Wife Beater’s Wife

With blue irises her face is blossomed. Blue
Circling to yellow, circling to brown on her cheeks.
The long bone of her jaw untracked
She hides in our kitchen.
He sleeps it off next door.

Her chicken legs tucked under her
She’s frantic with lies, animated
Before the swirling smoke.
On her cigarette she leaves red prints, red
Like a cut on the white cup.
Like a skin she pulls her sweater around her.
She’s cold,
She brings the cold in with her.

In our kitchen she hides.
He sleeps it off next door, his great
Belly heaving with booze.
Again and again she tells the story
As if the details ever changed,
As if blows to the face were somehow
Different beating to beating.

We reach for her but can’t help.
She retreats into her cold love of him
And looks across the table at us
As if across a sea.
Next door he claws out of sleep.
She says she thinks she’ll do something
After all, with her hair tonight.”
― Bruce Weigl

Best & BetterJust smile :)

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