Types of Relationship
A person you know and interact with. Many people we consider as friends are really acquaintances. Generally speaking respect acquaintances, give them space as required and learn not to take seriously any judgments they may pass your way. Keep things simple and don’t push too hard on what to expect from an acquaintance.
A person you enjoy spending extra time with. In this friendships are measured by the time & activities you share with that person. Since time is limited, this why the number of good friends we have gets limited by how we spend time with others. If you don’t have time for a person then they aren’t a friend they are really an acquaintance. Likewise, if one of your friends never seems to have time for you, then they really are treating you only as an acquaintance.
This is a person who won’t judge you. A true friend is a relationship that transcends time and this friendship isn’t defined by how much time you do spend with them. You might be with a true friend for only 5 minutes and yet that 5 minutes lasts a lifetime. They won’t hold you back nor measure you. True friends are true treasures. Not many people can hold another without judgment.
Simply defined: A person who has been connected to you for a long time.
We are Body, Mind and Spirit. This means three different types of Old Friends.
- Old friends of the Mind have spent a long time sharing or even building a connected story.
- Old friends of the Body have spent much time sharing in physical activities.
- An Old Friend of Spirit is someone that moves along in the same direction as you over a life time, even across lifetimes. You could be working on different things, creating very different stories and yet there is a harmony between you and an old friend of spirit
Just because a person is an old friend doesn’t necessarily make them a true friend. Some enemies for example will call each other old friends due the amount of time they have spent sparring against each other. Also Old Friends of the mind can go away very quickly, especially when a person has shifted their personal story deeply. In fact old friends of the mind can come into conflict when trying to force another back into an older story.
An old friend of spirit is usually not a Karmic relationship. Karmic relationships exist to teach a lesson against. Compared to an old friend of spirit where two connect across lifetimes only because they like to flow with each other. Usually there isn’t a karmic debt between you and another as old friends of spirit.
Old Friends can be tricky because with the length of time we know another person, people are often tempted to assume or push the connection the old friends to be deeper than it really is in reality. So understand, even with old friends care needs to be taken in how you relate against each.
This is a rarer situation, but becoming ever more common. When two people have drifted apart and yet are forced to keep a friendship thru a bond that transcends each person. This happens most commonly with two adults with children that end up divorcing from each other. The children bind those two people together eternally and yet often times these two adults cannot just be best friends any more. Eternal friend is a new named I coined for this type of friendship. It symbolizes the fact you have a deep external connection, where ideally you should work closely together but are also far apart. By giving it a new name, a couple won’t be trapped in trying to force the relationship to be that of a best friend, but the two people need to work with each other in ways that are greater than just a simple friendship.
Now great care must be used with defining an Eternal Friend. When relationships reach a trouble spot, it isn’t always possible to know if two people can become closer and evolve into a soul mate or if the relation is drifting apart into becoming an Eternal friend. I have found that it can take up to a year, allowing each partner to grow to determine which direction the relationship is truly moving towards.
An Eternal Friend is technically a subset of being a partner. However, after divorce people don’t want to refer to each other as partners any more. So I created the term Eternal Friend to help give a touch extra “social” distance between the two ex-Married partners. I use the word “eternal” to indicate despite the distancing that might need to happen between the two friends, obligations or other larger events are going to tie these two people together for a long time.
I use the word eternal to reinforce the need to take care with this type of friend. The last thing you want to create is an eternal enemy instead! Since when you push too hard to break away, when a long term connection is still present, it becomes all too easy to push too hard to break that old friend and create a person becomes eternally against you. All too often this happens with two divorced people in western culture.
Since Eternal Friend is a new term it has no social baggage associated with it and it’s easier for two people to come to common separate terms within the Eternal Friend concept.
This represents a person who we need to learn a deep life lesson from. Often times the lesson we need to learn is only apparent and learned after the Karmic relationship ends. Karmic relationship often teach us the lessons we don’t want to face on our own. Often times Karmic relationships don’t survive past the lesson being taught. Be careful with a Karmic relationship. Karmic relationships often start hot and furious. It isn’t uncommon for a person to mistake a karmic relationship to be a soul mate. I see this happen quite a bit actually. Fortunately many times the conflict that does occur in karmic relationship breaks relationships up before marriage happens, but it’s very intense and often passionate up front.
A person that shares social obligations with you, obligations that actually define how you appear in public. Partners can mixed with other categories. So it’s possible you can have a Partner who is more of an acquaintance than friend. People tend to push “Partner” into meaning more due to the shared social obligations you have with each other. Many divorced partners with children fall into the eternal friend category since they can’t stomach the term of partner anymore.
So what is a soul mate?
No where are we taught in western culture what soul mate is 100%:
The generic definition of soul mate is super wide open:
A soul mate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep and natural affinity, love, intimacy, sexuality, spirituality
So first understand your definition may not fit to your partner’s definition. This can create problems, as you and your partner could actually be working to different ideals of soul mate. Some people don’t even think soul mates exist.
A soul mate is a person who you connect to without even needing to speak. A soul mate will help you grow even if it means losing you. A soul mate shares in kindness and non-judgement, but they are one of the few people we will trust with judgement. Finally a soul mate is a person we are mated to with a deep and honest sexual connection also.
It is the mate aspects of Soul Mate where people often fall short. Since in reality people try to force a person into a Soul Mate relationship and then get confused by adding sex to the equation and then everything falls apart. The simple truth is our culture doesn’t understand there is another level of companionship called Soul Companion.
A soul companion is almost the same as a Soul Mate except there isn’t either the need or desire for amated sexual union.
At times a person will marry their soul companions and then over time discover the relationship doesn’t work, because sexually they are not 100% compatible. This is more common than what you might think. Trying to force a Soul Companion to be a Soul Mate can at times end in a disaster. Our needs relative to sexuality is very complicated dance. It can be fine to marry a soul companion, but it’s highly timing dependent on many factors happening in each person’s life.