The History of Transformers on Earth

Nothing in the world has compelled me more than the images thrown at us from Transformers: The Last Knight.

  • 65 million years ago: a race of aliens detonate a bunch of bombs that turn dinosaurs into robots

Image: Transformers: Age of Extinction, Paramount

Obviously, the earliest Transformers on Earth were the Dinobots. Does this have a better explanation than how I described it?

  • Around 17,000 BCE: A bunch of Transformers are found by prehistoric humans building a thing

Image: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Paramount

Just a reminder that this is a scene that opened the second Transformers movie. A fight with humans who have spears, set 19,000 years in the past.

  • Around 2560 BCE: Construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza is completed, hiding the Fallen’s Sun Harvester in it

Yes, this is right around the famous robot’s testicles scene (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Paramount)

There is a Sun Harvester in one of Egypt’s pyramids because… I don’t know. Why the Primes didn’t make sure there wasn’t a Sun Harvester hanging out on Earth after they subdued the Fallen, I don’t know. Also, how long did it take him to build this thing?

  • 27 BC – 395 AD: Tranformers in Rome

 

  • Late 5th-century AD (or thereabouts): Transformers fight with King Arthur and his knights

Is that a Transformer as Merlin? With Arthur? Is this the whole Arthur will return myth? (Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount)

There is a lot of footage of Transformers sitting with King Arthur and his Round Table, chock full of knights, in the trailers for The Last Knight. Basically, this movie is going to tell us that all the Arthurian legends are just interpretations of a history including giant robots and of the hiding of some valuable Cybertronian thing.

If Transformers and their magic is the real reason for the Holy Grail bit, that’s… more blasphemous than I expected from Bay, really. But it’s probably just Excalibur, given how often the sword’s been featured in other footage.

  • 1066: Transformers fight in the Battle of Hastings as depicted in the Bayeaux Tapestry

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount)

William the Conqueror needed a little robotic help, I guess. Every single conflict in the world since King Arthur’s time is going to be explained as bad Transformers and their allies trying to find the thing and good Transformers and their allies trying to protect it, isn’t it?

  • 1562-1563 Pieter Bruegel the Elder paints “The Triumph of Death” with Transformers in it

Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

 

  • 1776: Transformers in the American Revolution

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

 The original painting comes up quick in a Google image search for “American Revolution paintings.”)

  • Late 1800s (approximately): Robots “in disguise” in Japan as giant samurai.

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

 samurais sitting down for a photo with a giant robot who is also wearing samurai armor.

  • 1860s: Transformers involved in the American Civil War.

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

There is also a photo of Frederick Douglas given special focus, and if the robots fought against slavery

  • 1883: Transformers somehow involved in the eruption of Krakatoa

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

 

  • 1895: A frozen Megatron and a chunk of the Allspark is found by explorer Archibald Witwicky

Image: The first Transformers movie

Archibald, great-great-grandfather of Sam Witwicky , also shows up on the cover of “Explorer’s Magazine” in The Last Knight.

  • 1903: Photo taken of “The Witwiccans”

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

Archibald Witwicky is so getting retconned to have been looking for the Allspark .

And be the namesake for a society of Friends of Transformers. I bet Anthony Hopkins’ character in Last Knight is a member

  • 1914-1918: WWI But With Transformers

Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount

Sure. I mean, a Transformer doesn’t need to worry about a trench or poison gas.

  • 1939-1945: WWII But Also With Transformers

If the public at large didn’t know about Transformers, who are these posters for? On this wall: FDR, Winston Churchill, QEII, Al Gore, and Sam Witwicky’s grandfather. (Image: Transformers: The Last Knight, Paramount)

World War II is in The Last Knight a little bit; it’s likely part of Hopkins’ history with them, prompting a flashback.

World War II is a really handy war for these kinds of movies because there was a lot of weird occult stuff being pursued.

  • 1961: A Cybertronian device crash lands on the moon and NASA’s moon missions are set up to go investigate.

Image: Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Paramount)

  • 1980s: Bumblebee spinoff

Bumblebee hung out in the past with humans and had adventures based on a description of the upcoming spinoff in Empire.

From there, the movies take place in the time they were made and came out. Transformers in 2007, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen in 2009, Dark of the Moon in 2011, and Age of Extinction in 2014.

 

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